


We Can Stay

by ohjustdisarmalready



Series: And I 'verse [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Gen, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready
Summary: There are so many people that Taako istrying to keep alive, dammit,and they all keep running headlong into stupid bullshit trying to save the world or whatever. And he still can't find who he's looking for.Canon-era continuation of the And I 'verse AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hell FUCKING YEAH we're posting this! There's another fic that goes in between this and the first one in the series, which is why the titles almost follow a theme but don't make any goddamn sense together. This prologue bit insisted on being written first, though, so here you go!
> 
> Please read And I Will before reading this one, it sets up the universe and this'll probably be a little hard to understand without it.

What Killian would later remember, fondly, as the beginning of the end, started when she and Carey were dicking around in the dojo.

Boyland had left them to their own devices with an ‘I know young love when I see it,’ and Killian had nearly castrated him right there for being _so fucking obvious this was supposed to be a secret_ , but he’d cleared out and Carey hadn’t seemed to suspect anything. They were trying to work something out where Killian could shoot someone half a second before Carey went in for the kill as an extra distraction, but it was incredibly difficult to shoot at a training dummy when her crush was right in the line of fire. It took some incredible trust in both of their abilities.

And then the door was opened and they both automatically spun, weapons still up to face it.

“Hey, I come in peace, okay? Hold your fire,” Taako said. Killian lowered her crossbow.

“Taako? Does Madame Director need us for something?” She glanced around for Davenport, but he didn’t seem to be with Taako.

Taako shrugged. “Maybe she will, but that’s not what I’m here for. Go on ahead, keep doin’ your thing,” he said.

Killian frowned and traded glances with Carey. “You sure? Is everything okay?” Carey asked, sheathing her daggers and approaching.

Taako waved a hand. “Just fine, nothing’s wrong. I’d say things are the least wrong they’ve been in a long time.”

That sounded good. But still, what was Taako doing so far from the Director?

“Did the Seekers find a relic? Is there a team being sent out to reclaim it?” Carey asked, tail twitching with excitement. Killian sat down in the moon-dirt to get the good gossip.

Taako and Carey dropped down to join her, although Taako wasn’t getting as excited as they were.

“Nah, not that I know of. Just a good time to be alive.” He smiled in his odd way, a little too constructed with the lingering feeling of something empty behind his eyes. Killian wasn’t sure she’d ever known Taako to say it was good to be alive. Or be this far from the Director or Davenport.

“Why? What’s going on?” She asked, though it came out a little more aggressive than she meant it to. She liked Taako well enough, but when he did that smile it got harder to remember that.

Carey leaned forward. “Something to do with us? Are we being sent out?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I’m just gonna be with you a little while. Got a feeling. You’re gonna go where I need to be,” Taako said, which was. Ominous.

Then again, Taako could be pretty ominous. He’d wandered the Bureau’s campus muttering about being empty for an entire day once before Killian had pried out that that was his way of celebrating his birthday. She couldn’t say she’d ever known him to follow anyone but the Director around before.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Carey asked. “Is it a, you know…Regulator thing? Man, that sucks.”

Her tail swished a little more strongly at the thought. It was never easy to cut down your coworkers.

Taako didn’t offer any explanation, choosing instead to be a cryptic fuck. “It may not be a ‘going’ thing. Could be whatever, really. I just need to be there for it. You might be meeting someone important.”

Which, well, way to get Carey on the mission. Killian recognized that look in her partner’s eyes and started putting the dojo back to rights. They weren’t getting back to training until Carey got her questions answered.

“Someone new? Did the Director mention a new Regulator coming up? Are they a fighter? Magic-user? Some of both?” Killian kept an ear on the conversation as she started collecting dummies to put back in the closet.

“Uh, Taako?” Carey asked, and Killian glanced back to check only to find Taako _maybe_ two feet from her and following closely.

“Holy shit, Taako!” She nearly dropped the dummies in surprise as he failed to react in any meaningful way to how fucking close he suddenly was.

“What? I gotta stay with you. What if you’d wandered off?” He asked.

Carey came to follow Taako, who kept following Killian until she was trailing incredibly dangerous but even more ridiculous coworkers as she tried to clean up.

“Wait, you’re only following Killian? Do I not get to do fun stuff?” she asked.

“Sorry, Care-bear. Just the Kills for now. I’ll take them back and you can meet them once I find them,” Taako offered, which sounded an awful lot like kidnapping.

“You know we can’t just take people, right? Like, we have the Voidfish, but that doesn’t mean we can just steal people and erase them whenever we feel like it.” Killian reminded him. Taako was unimpressed.

“What do you call what you did with Carey, then?” he asked.

“I was a willing recruit,” Carey said. “Also they were about to hang me.”

Taako shrugged. “Eh, the new guy’ll need our help some way. It’s cool. Besides, they’re supposed to be here.”

Killian raised a brow, closing the door of the dummy storage closet. “Supposed to be here.”

Taako nodded. “Yup. I’m supposed to be with them and I’m supposed to be here. Ergo, they’re also supposed to be here.”

Carey nodded like she could almost follow his logic, which was concerning. Killian had concerns. Not least of which was that Taako wanted her to help him kidnap some poor soul.

“That’s fair, but how do you know they’re supposed to be with you? Have you met them before?” Carey asked, but Killian could not allow this to go further because if Carey was beginning to sympathize Killian was bound to fold like a wet paper bag. She couldn’t say no to Carey’s hopeful face.

“Let’s go talk to the Director about this, Taako. I’m sure she’ll have something to say.” Surely the Director could put an end to this madness. She was immune to most of Taako’s insanity, citing long exposure.

Unfortunately, the Director did not put an end to this madness. As soon as they’d filed in to her office, Taako staying close behind Killian (“Do you know how many spells there are that can teleport people? It’s a lot of spells. I need to be close.”) and Carey laughing her ass off about it as she brought up the rear.

The Director raised an eyebrow at Carey’s obvious glee, but smiled warmly at them.

“Taako, I was wondering where you’d run off to in such a hurry. Was there something you needed? Carey, Killian?” She put aside the journal she was writing in and switched it out for another one. “Actually, Killian, I was just about to send for you, I have a job for you in a moment.”

Taako smiled smugly at Killian, sitting in his chair by the Director.

“I’m going with her,” he said.

The Director swiveled her swivel chair to look at him. “You are,” she said, not quite a question but not quite believing him.

Taako sat up straight and made some intense fucking eye contact. There was a glint of metal in his hands.

“You gonna try to stop me?” he asked.

Holy shit. Killian glanced at Carey, who looked just as panicked as she did. She didn’t think she’d ever heard Taako talk back to the Director before. _What do we do?_ she tried to ask with her mind.

 _I don’t know! What the fuck?!?_ she imagined Carey saying back.

“Carey, Killian, would you mind giving us a moment?” The Director looked serious, urgent. “Taako, I need you to tell me what you know. Can you do that?”

Killian could hear Taako’s fluted voice as she shut the door behind her, but not well enough to make anything out. She looked at Carey.

“What the shit?” She asked.

Carey didn’t seem to have any answers. “That’s the same Taako, right? Like, he didn’t get replaced while I wasn’t looking, did he?”

Killian shrugged. “I’ve never seen his fight her on something before. Did you see what he was holding? It looked like a damn weapon!”

Carey started. “Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Taako fight someone before. I didn’t even think he could fight! Can he?”

Killian tried to remember, but she’d only seen Taako really go at someone once or twice. There was only one time she could really vouch for.

“He almost lopped my head off when I first joined up,” she offered.

Carey stared. “What? _Taako_ did?”

“Yeah, it was intense. I caught Madame Director rummaging ‘cause she thought there was a relic—the Bureau wasn’t really a thing yet, so I just drew on her as soon as I saw her, thought she was a bandit or a zombie or something. It was dark, I don’t know. Anyway, Taako comes in outta nowhere and nearly killed me before she told him not to.” She couldn’t help a bit of a smile. It had been a hell of a job interview. “Joined up right after and Taako harassed her into making an organization of it. I don’t think he wanted her in a high-risk position. He always struck me as kind of protective, like a brother or something?”

Carey glanced pointedly back at the door they’d just left. There was a shimmering green spell over the doorway.

“Hell of a fight between siblings if weapons are involved. I’ve never seen him ready to rumble like that,” she said.

“Yeah, that was uh, not what I expected either. Madame Director seemed to have it handled, though?” Maybe? Killian certainly hoped so.

Carey nodded, perhaps agreeing or maybe supporting her delusion. “She probably just wanted to talk to him in private. I don’t know either of them too well, maybe that’s how they act. I fight with my brother sometimes.”

That was definitely not how they’d ever acted in the year and a half that Killian had known them, but there was a chance.

“Do you think we should go…?” she started to ask, but the spell over the door shattered as the door popped open. On the other side was Taako, coming out of nowhere and smiling.

“Come on in, ladies! Madam Director will see you now,” he joked. Or maybe he was serious. He was grinning like the scariest clown, but it seemed genuine?

The Director, unfrazzled again, waved them both in, and Taako sashayed back to his seat.

“Killian, Carey. Have a seat. How much has Taako explained to you?” She asked, polite as always. She seemed a little excited, too, when Killian gave her a closer look.

“Not much, ma’am,” Killian said. “Is someone new coming up?”

The Director smiled. “Perhaps. Killian, I do have a job for you, and there is a chance that you’ll meet someone especially qualified for joining our organization while you’re out. I will ask that you keep an eye out. It is a Regulator mission, I’m afraid.”

Damn. “Who?” Killian asked.

The Director lost her smile. “Magic Brian, I’m afraid. Do you remember him? One of our seekers that spent most of his time planetside.”

Fuck. Yeah, Killian remembered him. Sweet guy, always remembered birthdays. Hadn’t he gotten engaged recently? That was rough.

“Yeah. Where’s he at?” She asked.

The Director pulled out a map of Faerun. “He’s at a place called Wave Echo Cave, near Phandalin. He seems to have found the location of a relic, but I’m concerned about his behavior since then. I need you to check out the situation and do what needs to be done. Leave the relic, of course. We’ll send Reclaimers after it should that become an issue. Do you understand?”

Killian nodded. “Will Carey and Boyland be coming with me on this one?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” the Director said. “Taako will be accompanying you, but he will have a separate mission which takes precedence for most of your time there. Should he indicate anyone to you that may make good recruits, please do look into it, though.”

Carey shifted and Killian knew it was killing her not to ask. “Ma’am, how do you know we’ll meet someone so important down there? Is there something wrong with the Bureau as it is now?”

The Director made to answer, but Taako talked right over her. “We’re going to meet the most important person,” he said. “And I know because I’m fantastic.”

Luckily, the Director was used to Taako’s bullshit. “There’s nothing wrong with the Bureau currently—” Taako snorted and muttered something, “—but Taako has been known to have a sort of…sixth sense for people who can resist the thrall of the relics. If he says you’ll be meeting someone important, I’m willing to believe him.”

“You know people who can resist the relics?” Carey asked.

Taako scowled. “Obviously not, since Lucy won’t tell me where they are, but I know one of them’s gonna need me and I know if I follow you I’ll be in the right place to help them.”

The Director looked very tired. “I don’t know where they are, Taako, I’m not hiding them from you,” was all she said.

Taako narrowed his eyes at her, but without any real animosity. “Anyway, I’ve got an eye on my people. You just worry about the Regulator stuff and I’ll handle the rest.”

“One more thing,” Carey said.

“Actually, two more things, I’ve got one too,” Killian added.

“Of course,” the Director responded.

“Carey, you can go ahead,” Killian said. Carey had important stuff to say.

Carey nodded a quick thanks and asked, “Is it okay to ask how you know about people who can resist the relics? Are you connected to them in some way?”

Killian looked back at Taako, startled. Come to think of it, she didn’t know how he’d gotten to know the Director in the first place. He couldn’t have just always been around.

Taako shrugged, but didn’t seem inclined to give a real answer. Killian turned her gaze to the Director.

“Taako was given a task long ago by higher powers than us to destroy the relics,” the Director said. Holy fuck. “He occasionally has instincts that point him in the right direction. It’s how we met originally, in fact, and why he’s stayed with me since, I imagine.”

“No shit,” Carey said. “Taako’s a fuckin’ _paladin_?”

Taako nearly fell out of his chair but the Director nodded thoughtfully.

“That’s not a bad way to think about it,” she said.

“What? No! Paladins are fuckin’ douchebags, I’m not a—no way!” Taako squawked. “I’ve got a job to do, that’s totally different!”

The Director raised an imperious eyebrow at him. “Do you have a better word for it?”

Taako responded to that, but Killian needed a second to readjust her worldview if they weren’t gonna give her any more information.

Fuckin’ _paladin_. _Taako_. The guy who made the Director cookies shaped like her face. Who kept filling people’s pockets with pudding when Carey was practicing her pickpocketing. Who followed Davenport around like a terrible, terrible babysitter for a grown man who could mostly take care of himself. A fuckin’ _paladin_.

The Director and Taako were getting into it now, and he looked like he was seconds from giving her a noogie until she agreed with him, which was not behavior associated with paladins.

“What god do you even worship?” Carey asked, just as shell-shocked as Killian.

Taako stopped lecturing Lucretia on the evils of paladins (boring, too many rules, stupid) to roll his eyes at Carey.

“Not that kinda gig. Whoever they are, my folks are more…hands-off, you could say. I got stuff I need to do and stuff I need to not do, but I’ve never met ‘em. Believe me, we’d have fuckin’ _words_ if I had.” And he wasn’t looking at Lucretia, but Killian was, and she saw her wince.

None of her business, though. She trusted the Director with her life. If she knew something she wasn’t saying, there was a good reason for it.

“Well, I guess we know all we need to. We heading out now? Do we know which relic it is?” Killian asked. The Director nodded, getting smoothly back into her more professional persona.

“It’s the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet, and you can leave whenever you’re ready. Keep each other safe,” she looked at Taako pointedly and Killian frowned. She could take care of herself just fine.

Taako seemed to get something else from that, though. He cocked his head. “Is that what you’ve decided? You want me to keep Killian safe?”

The Director looked startled for half a moment before recovering. “I—yes, please look out for each other. I know you’ll be busy on your own mission, but I’d feel better knowing you have each other’s back.”

Killian nodded. “I’ll get him back safe. Come on, Taako, we need to grab stuff before we leave. We should talk strategy, too. I’ve hardly ever seen you fight.”

Carey bid goodbye to the Director and followed them out the door.

“I’m gonna go lie down, sorta reinvent my worldview,” she said. “A _paladin_.”

Taako watched her go with a smirk. “You need to sit down a bit, Kills? Glass of water?” He asked.

Killian was reminded of another reason Taako really shouldn’t be a paladin—he was a raging asshole. Well, they took all sorts, she guessed.

“I think I’ll be good. You got anything to grab before we go?” Besides, Carey was really going to sneak around eavesdropping until she got a better handle on the situation. She wasn’t a huge fan of surprises, Killian knew. Especially surprises with so few knives involved.

Taako shook his head. “I’ve got magic; I don’t need to pack. Just need to check in with Davenport before we leave.”

Huh. That explained how he kept getting pudding into people’s pockets. It had been driving Carey crazy thinking there might be someone sneakier than her around.

“Well, I’ll need to pack up some stuff, get my weapons ready. Meet at the hangar in half an hour?” She asked. He looked at her sharply.

“If you leave without me I’m gonna be pissed,” he warned. Right. He was following her around.

“If you stalk me around the base and watch me pack up I’m gonna be pissed,” she shot back. He grinned.

“Perfect. Meet you in thirty!” And then he vanished.

Seriously. A fucking _paladin_?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm gay
> 
> That has nothing to do with the fic, I just wanted you to know
> 
> Sorry it's really late here and I am very tired

Magnus hummed a little as he walked into a large, round room in Wave Echo cave. There was a big grate in the center and some kind of grinding machine that he was kind of excited about, but no sign of Gundren Rockseeker.

There was an elf, though, who jumped down from a ledge and onto the main floor as he and Merle walked in.

“Hail and well met, my dudes!” the elf called, waving. “I found you!”

Magnus came to a halt. Merle bumped into his legs and he stumbled forward a step.

“Were you, uh, were you looking for us? Does Merle owe you money?” he asked. He didn’t recognize this guy at all.

“Hey!” Merle protested.

“Well I don’t, I’ve never seen the guy!” Magnus hissed back. Meanwhile, an orc woman peered down from the ledge the elf had jumped from.

“Taako!” she hissed. “Get back here! We don’t know these people; I’m supposed to bring you back safe!”

Taako shrugged. “Nah, it’s cool, it’s cool. These guys are the good guys, aren’t you?”

He gestured to them and Magnus glanced at Merle. He was pretty sure they were the good guys. But what would that make Taako and the orc lady?

“Are, uh. Are _you_ the good guys?” Magnus asked. The orc woman was pointing a really big crossbow at them and it really didn’t seem like a friendly way to greet someone.

Taako shrugged. “Kind of a lawful chaotic myself. I’m on your side, though! You know Taako, here to help!”

“Taako, are you sure about this? They shouldn’t be here, we should just get them out and go find kssssssh,” the woman said quietly. “I’m not sure we shouldn’t be killing them, actually. Normally that’s, you know, standard procedure.”

Magnus readied his battleaxe, but Taako stepped neatly between her and them and said something quiet to her. She sighed and lowered her crossbow.

“Not too convincing, Taako,” she said, “But if kssssh hears I got you killed that’s my ass on the line, I guess. Go ahead and take care of them, I’ll go find ksssssh. We can’t afford to waste time here.”

She turned to Magnus and Merle. “One hair on his dumbass head gets harmed and I’m killing both of you, no questions asked. Got it?”

She didn’t even wait for them to respond before turning and leaving further into the cave.

Taako waved.

“So, uh,” Magnus started. “Any chance you’re the Black Spider?”

“Nope,” Taako said.

“Yeah, didn’t think so. Uh, what brings you to this cave?” he tried. He didn’t really have a procedure for introducing himself to strange elves hanging around in caves, apparently waiting for him.

Taako grinned. “You do! Both of you. What do you need?”

Magnus shifted. Merle said, “Well, a backrub would be nice. Oh! We’re looking for my cousin!”

“That’s a joke. You’re joking,” Taako said. “But, hm. Cousin. Where’s your cousin at now?”

“We found a couple of them, actually, but they’re mostly dead,” Magnus offered, beginning to approach so they wouldn’t have to shout at each other. Taako frowned.

“Bummer. I can’t fix that one,” he said. “I mean, I can try, if you really want me to, but my magic’s not so good right now. I’m not supposed to use it.”

“Oh, you’re a mage?” Magnus asked, excited. “Are you good at it? Merle here’s kind of a shitty cleric.”

Taako smiled smugly and produced an array of sparks.

“I’m, like, every mage,” he said. “Wizard, warlock, sorcerer, whatever. I’m _not_ a paladin.”

Merle scowled. “Good. We already have a god on our side. Have you heard the word of Pan today?”

“Do you, uh, can you bring us to the Black Spider?” Magnus asked before Merle could get going. A guide through the cave didn’t seem like a bad idea. Would keep them from being surprised by more mushrooms.

Before Taako could respond, the orc woman’s voice came down the corridor. “Taako, um, help! A little help here!”

He shrugged and turned on his heel. “I promised I’d keep Killian alive, I gotta go. But I’ll be back to tell you all about Magic Brian!”

He darted down the corridor, followed closely by Magnus and less closely by Merle. In the dark between the doorway and the next room he got out a big fucking trident, which Magnus was _very_ interested in investigating later, and they all burst into a new room.

It was a massive room, with a quarry in it, and Killian and a drow near one wall, Gundren in a heap near a pit.

“Taako? I didn’t think you were allowed to leave ksssssh, how wonderful to have you visit!” the drow exclaimed. “This is maybe not a good time for this though, yes? I am rather in the middle of something.”

Taako shrugged fluidly. “Yeah, normally I’d be all for—” Killian makes an outraged sound— “but I did promise to get her home safe and all. You wanna give up now and I don’t have to kill your ass?”

Magnus glanced at Merle. “Hey, I think this guy’s the Black Spider,” he hissed.

“Yeah, no shit,” Merle hissed back. Hurtful. Taako walked towards Killian, but was stopped by the Black Spider.

“I’m afraid I’ll need you to stop right there, darling,” he said. He gestured to Gundren with his off hand. “I will just be needing a little more of this dwarf’s blood and you can all go home safe and happy. Is this agreeable?”

Taako thought for a moment, and Merle said, “Hey! No, you can’t have that! That’s my cousin!”

“Oh, this is the cousin?” Taako asked. Magnus nodded.

“Yeah, his name is Gundren. He’s kind of a douche but we need him to be alive,” he explained.

“Right.” Taako turned to the Black Spider. “Sorry, Brian dear, I have my orders. You’ve gotta give me that dwarf or die.”

Killian began struggling harder against the webbing pinning her to the wall. “You know what, Taako, I changed my mind! Maybe don’t help me! Take your new friends and go ksssssh!”

“That sounds dirty,” Magnus muttered suspiciously.

“Nope! No, not dirty, gross, no, nope!” Killian said. “He’s a paladin, paladins can’t have sex! It’s illegal! Not thinking about it!”

Merle looked suspiciously at Taako. “I thought you said you weren’t a paladin,” he grumbled.

Taako winked. “The mystery continues!”

And then he charged the Black Spider.

The battle with the Black Spider went by quickly for Magnus, due mostly to the fact that he was unconscious for a good bit of it. Magic Brian had a killer magic missile and spider Bryan was poisonous. Bad scene for Magnus. Someone revived him with a healing potion, though, and he woke up to the face of Taako.

“Whoa!” he said, scrambling back a few feet. “Whoa there, buddy, um, personal space, yeah? It’s good for you.”

Taako grinned. “You’re alive!”

“Yup, just barely. Thanks for the healing, cleric,” he groaned, stretching out his aching muscles. Being knocked unconscious really took it out of him.

“Yeah, that’s good, he’s alive. You wanna let me down now?” Killian asked, and Magnus glanced around. Merle was near his cousin, administering another potion, and Killian was still on the wall. Magic Brian and Bryan were nowhere to be seen and Taako’s weapon had disappeared.

“Wait a minute,” Magnus said, putting a hand on Taako’s arm. “I have questions first.”

Taako shrugged. “Shoot.”

“No, not for you. Killian, right?” He addressed the orc woman. She glared.

“How about you let me down and I’ll answer your questions and maybe not kill— _kick_ your ass for being here in the first place.” Her eyes focused briefly on something behind Magnus. “Not that I would harm either of you. Of course.”

“Of course!” Taako agreed, coming to Magnus’s side. “These are our very good friends and new kssssh!”

“Now, hold on a—just wait a minute,” Killian protested, and Magnus said, “Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk about. Why do you keep kssssh-ing?”

Killian rolled her eyes, and Taako said, “Oh, it’s the kssssh! Another one of our good friends. You’ll understand it once you ksssssh! We just gotta get out of here first and get you up to the ksssh. No biggie!”

Magnus raised a brow. “Right. Totally got all of that.”

Killian groaned, “ _Taako_.”

Taako grinned back, unrepentant. “Lucretia won’t mind. She said I could have them back if I found them.”

“What my…coworker is trying to say is that there’s something—really important we gotta do right now, yeah, but just as soon as we’re done with that, _if you want to,_ you can come with us and we’ll be able to explain everything. But you do gotta let me down so I can finish this first.” Killian gave Taako a dirty look, though it didn’t seem to have any real heat behind it. Magnus shrugged.

“Okay,” he said. “Sounds fine to me.”

He began the sticky work of cutting Killian down, and as soon as he did, she darted to the side of the pit.

“I’ve gotta get something from Magic Brian, I’ll be right back. Nobody leaves this room, alright, Taako?” she instructed, and tapped herself with a feather duster, and began falling slowly down the pit. Magnus looks at Taako.

“Can we trust her?” he asked. Taako thought for a moment, shrugged, and nodded.

“Yeah, she’s just gonna grab the ksssh. Killian’s not the type for subterfuge. I might be worried if it were Carey,” he decided. Good enough. Magnus led the way over to Gundren and Merle.

“—come with me,” Gundren was saying, rising to his feet.

“Sure thing, cuz,” Merle said, following him to the door. Magnus glanced at Taako.

“Aren’t you supposed to stop us from leaving?” he asked, because he wasn’t sure he had another fight in him at this point. Definitely not if Taako got off a surprise round on him.

“Do you want to go?” Taako asked. Magnus couldn’t see a reason not to. Killian could always catch up if she had something to say, and Taako seemed to know just as much as her.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he decided.

“Then let’s go.” Taako caught up with the dwarves quickly and Magnus followed. Well, mountains and molehills, he supposed. He hoped Taako didn’t get in too much trouble for this.

They walked through a corridor with a massive jackhammer robot and into a room with a round vault door with all kind of chains on it, and if Magnus weren’t walking behind Taako, he wouldn’t have noticed anything amiss.

He was, though, and he saw Taako lurch to a halt and grab his chest silently, standing bolt upright and staring at one of the walls of the room. He glanced over and saw something there. A figure, maybe?

Taako stumbled backwards and Magnus caught his shoulders.

“Hey, are you okay there, bud?” His question grabbed the dwarves’ attention and Merle began to approach.

“Holy shit, are you glowing?” he asked, and with it pointed out to him, Magnus could see it, too. Taako was letting out wisps of bright white light, like fire, but instead of going up it all lead to the figure on the other side of the room.

“Hey, uh, Taako? Is that supposed to happen? Are you allergic to dead people?” Magnus asked, tugging him towards the door again. “Maybe you and me should go and wait for Killian, Merle can handle this, right?”

“Did you do something to my family vault?” Gundren demanded.

Taako shook himself. He stared hard at the figure across the room and disappeared.

“Holy shit he’s gone!” Magnus said.

“No, dumbass, he’s right there,” Gundren said. Sure enough, Taako was standing over the figure, reaching out and glowing brightly. Magnus rushed over.

“Taako don’t touch the dead gu—oh. Too late on that one.” He slowed down to a jog, but hurried up as Taako grabbed something from the figure’s robe and let out a flash of light, hitting his knees on the ground. He fell across the lap of the skeleton as Magnus approached.

He was breathing, at least. That was good.

The skeleton’s head moved as if to watch him. That was not good.

“Um, skeleton, I’m just gonna—don’t mind me,” Magnus said, scooting in close to tap Taako’s shoulder. “Hey, Merle? You got any healing magics?”

Taako groaned when Magnus shook him gently, curling around the skeleton. His eyes drifted open and Magnus could see the moment he became aware. He popped straight up to his feet, holding an umbrella.

The skeleton disintegrated.

“Okay,” Magnus said. “Okay. That just happened.”

Taako stared at him neutrally. “What do you need?”

Magnus looked at Merle. Merle looked at Magnus.

Gundren shouldered forward. “I’m gonna get into my family’s vault.”

Taako glanced at him and looked back at Magnus, and then at Merle. “Is that what you’ve decided to do?”

Magnus shrugged.

“I, uh. Yeah,” Merle decided. “Yep, we want to get into the vault. We have decided to get into the vault. All, uh, four of us.”

“Okay,” Taako said, and then they were in a big, completely dark room. Magnus couldn’t see shit.

Merle muttered something and suddenly the room was lit by a calming lavender light. It was still pretty dark, but Magnus could see the floor was polished to a mirror shine. There was something sticking out of it a few dozen feet away.

“Something isn’t right here,” Gundren murmured. The room got brighter as Merle hoisted his glowing warhammer above his head, and Magnus saw a hand sticking up out of the floor like destiny.

He had to high five it.

But before he could get close enough to touch, Taako was in front of him.

“No!” he said. “Don’t touch it!”

Magnus stopped. “Are you sure? It’s right there and it’s—it’s _right there_!”

“It’s dangerous,” Taako told him. “You can’t touch it. It’ll ksssh you.”

“You never let me have any fun,” Magnus grumbled. Taako didn’t stop Gundren from approaching the glove.

“So,” Gundren said. “That’s my pops.”

Well, fuck. That was a downer.

“Uh, nice to meet you, Mister Rockseeker,” Magnus said, just in case. There has been a not-great amount of skeletons in this cave.

“I don’t understand,” Gundren sounded upset. “This room is supposed to be—it’s supposed to be filled with magic weapons, and artifacts, and—I don’t understand what’s going on!”

There was a clatter at the door and a loud, “Taako? Taako! Ksssh is gonna kill me, fuck. Taako, where are you?”

Magnus started poking at the door. There wasn’t a visible opening mechanism from this side.

“Hey, Taako? Can you get us all back outside?” he asked. Then they were all back outside, with Killian near the door.

“Holy shit,” she said. “What did—never mind. Gundren, I need you to put that down.”

Magnus turned and Gundren had the glove in his hands. Taako put a hand on his arm and pushed him back a step.

“Filthy orc,” Gundren spat. “You don’t tell me what to do.”

“Well hey now,” Magnus protested, but Gundren had already put the gauntlet on and was beginning to change.

“Fuck,” Killian hissed as he began to catch fire. “Fuck, _fuck_!”

She grabbed Taako by the scruff and moved him backwards, which pushed Magnus backwards, and he tripped over Merle.

“How bad is this?” Magnus asked Taako. “Like, bad bad? Okay bad? Say your goodbyes bad?”

Taako didn’t take his eyes off Gundren, but offered Magnus a hand up. Magnus took it.

“I won’t let him kill you,” Taako said. “Or—fuck. I won’t let him kill Killian either, I guess. _Shit_.”

“Hey, what about me?” Merle protested.

“Also surviving this encounter. Just—fuck. Just wait for a minute.”

And then, again, Magnus was not where he had been. He, Merle, and Killian were in an office with a woman and a gnome sharing tea at a desk.

“I—Killian? Where’s Taako?” the woman asked. Magnus pitched to the side as a dizzy spell hit him.

“Shit, ksssh,” Killian said. “You gotta send me back there, there was this dwarf and he got kssssssh and Taako did—something, I dunno, he—it was in a cave near Phandalin, you gotta send me back!”

The woman rose to her feet.

“Of course. You found the kssssh? It should be no problem to follow the trail of destruction, then.” She turned to Magnus and Merle. “The two of you were also there? Did you see where this dwarf was going? Did he make any moves to attack before you left?”

Merle shrugged. “Phandalin’s a good bet, I dunno.”

And then Taako was there.

“Lucretia, I got them back,” he said. “One of them died, though.”

Lucretia walked to him and inspected him quickly. “You’re not hurt?”

Taako shrugged.

“Taako I need you to tell me if you’re hurt or not so I know whether I can ksssssh,” she insisted.

“Scrapes and bruises, if you’re sending my people out I’m going with,” Taako said. Lucretia examined him a second longer before nodding.

“I need you to bring Killian back to ksssh where ksssssh is. I will take care of M—these two in the meantime. They will be ksssh and they’ll be here when you come back, _with_ kssssh.” She rattled off the orders while rifling through her desk, finally bringing out a bottle of…something. Some sort of potion?

Taako nodded and he and Killian disappeared.

“Now hold on a second,” Magnus protested. “That guy did hire us to do a job, I think we deserve to see it through to the end!”

Merle agreed. “Plus he’s my cousin!”

“Don’t you want an explanation first?” Lucretia asked. “Action on ksssh is going to be dangerous, it’s best to leave it to the professionals.”

Magnus scowled. “If it’s going to be dangerous, we should be there. Especially if Gundren is involved, he’s kind of our responsibility right now.”

Lucretia gave him a level look and he tried to look back past the dizziness and disorientation.

After a long moment, she nodded.

“Drink this and follow me,” she said, walking to the door and handing Merle the bottle. “Davenport! Look after things here while I’m gone!”

It was the work of fifteen minutes to be shot out of a _fucking cannon_ on the _moon_ and into Phandalin. The Director (apparently calling her by name was a no-no) had refused to send them to the active path of destruction, but town was a relatively close compromise.

Extremely close, as it turned out, because they all three rushed into town as Taako and Barry Bluejeans faced down Gundren.

“That’s it, just take off the glove,” Barry coaxed. “Just, uh, think happy thoughts and put down the glove.”

“I don’t have to listen to you!” Gundren growled, and a gout of flame appeared where Barry was standing. Barry was safely three feet to the left.

“What—holy shit,” he said. “Okay, that was close.”

“Hey, you! Elf! Stop moving people!” Gundren demanded.

“No,” Taako said. Killian groaned. Fire consumed where Taako had been, but he was also out of the way.

Gundren growled. “I don’t have to play your games! I am unto a God!”

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Killian said. “We’re too late. Fuck. Well, now! Get into the well!” She grabbed Magnus’s shoulder and picked Merle up bodily as Gundren began glowing brighter, consumed in flame. Taako glanced as they hurried past and Magnus grabbed him, too. Barry seemed to get the idea and followed.

Gundren growled something that wasn’t in any language Magnus knew as the flame became blisteringly hot, even a hundred feet away. Magnus dumped Taako in the well after Killian and Merle and dove after him, Barry barely joining them before the sky above them was consumed by light.

And huddled in the bottom of a well, damp and shocky and a little bit afraid, that was how it began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll edit this...later...please shower me with praise...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think!
> 
> I'm at tumblr at [hahanoiwont](http://hahanoiwont.tumblr.com), feel free to hit me up with those sweet sweet writing questions, ideas, anything!


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